Today started really well, a fast walk up Pendle Hill and with it being that windy on the top and that I had forgotten my hat, I ran back down. It was a beautiful morning and I felt really happy, positive and motivated. I went straight to the stables and had my breakfast there and then went out for a hack with my friend in the sun, galloping through fields. It really clears your mind riding the horse, it seems to calm me being around the horse and riding. I suppose its because I have been riding and around horses since the age of 2, so that’s a very long time, 33 years to be precise. Below is a picture I took at the top of Pendle Hill. 

From the time it took me to put the horse in the field, muck him out and eat another meal, my mood had completely changed. I didn’t want to go back to the gym, I didn’t want to eat fish and green beans and oil for the rest of the day. I wanted to go out and sit in the sun and have some drinks and eat some fancy food and not have to think about going on stage.

I dragged myself to the gym and completed my second cardio session of the day on the treadmill. I struggled the entire hour, I think what made it worse was the low battery on my phone so I couldn’t listen to music or watch any vlogs.

I came home and went straight to bed, I watched films and fell asleep I don’t know how many times. I eventually got up and sorted all my food and gym gear for the next day still feeling drained, fed up and wanting to quit. I think I have felt like this because of a few reasons; I am fed up of being on prep, I am still poorly with this cold, my hormones and emotions are all over the place due to prep, I struggle with Mothers Day for personal reasons and have done for many years now and I think I just wanted to be ‘normal’ today.

I just have to remember its only 27 days away. I have changed so much on this journey and achieved incredible changes with my body through my own determination. I cant let myself down now, not so close to the finishing line.

Tomorrow will be a better day, think positive, stay positive and keep driving away ready to show off all my hard work on 22nd April.