Up at 5:30 and I have started with a 10 minute meditation which focuses the mind ready for the day ahead. As crackers as it sounds it actually works. Fasted cardio on the stairway to heaven and then off to work.

Head has felt pretty clear at work, a few times I have wobbled but I have taken my time and then carried on with whatever it was I was doing.

I confide in a work colleague and tell them what has happened, the support and reassurance that this kind of stuff happens quite often is quite overwhelming. I don’t feel that I am on my own as much as I originally thought. I just need to take each day as it comes. I am determined to compete, I will find a way to become stronger both mentally and physically during this prep.

Completed a killer shoulder workout with my mate Al. The bloating from the weekend is almost gone and I am starting to pull in again. Wouldn’t it be nice if the time off from diet actually helped me lean out even more than before! Let’s see if that happens but I am not holding my breath. I finish off shoulders with another cardio session, fast walking on an incline watching vlogs of body builders I follow. It keeps me motivated and passes the time.

One thing that is really starting to grate on me is people asking me what am I eating, how often to I workout, am I finding it hard and why am I doing it. I know that they are only asking because they are curious but at the moment training, diet and the comp is the last thing I want to talk about. I would rather talk about family history, knitting, stamp collecting, anything but what I am doing. How I deflect conversations from this without running away screaming I don’t know. I am still working on this.

So all in all head is in a better place, body is firing on all cylinders and focus is definitely better. Finished the day with another 10 minute meditation and an early night. I am so rock and roll.

Oh, I got asked out on a date by a guy at a shop during my lunch hour. It took him 20 minutes to find out if I was single and then he quickly asked as I was leaving the shop. I said I was too busy for that kind of stuff and legged it 😂