So today my new calorie amounts have hit home (yes by day 2) and I was bloody starving all day. In fact I must have assumed the angry facial position first thing in the morning as Hanjeev (who is the new Phil and informs me when I smell pleasant) realised the situation quickly and ran back to his desk and told someone else to just leave me till I had eaten my porridge.

I was supposed to be on birthday chocolate buying duty for one our team members at its her birthday tomorrow but I couldn’t trust myself and thought I might end up eating everything in the farm shop across the road and that the chef who ran away from me at the airport may have ended up filing a restraining order.

Tonights training session went well as it was shoulders which is my absolute favourite but my energy levels were still high despite wanting to eat anything I could and my focus was on point tonight. It was a pretty uneventful session and nothing unusual happened, no spiders chasing me at the cable machines and no dudes screaming like their lives depended on it.

I have had quite a jam-packed day as its the horses day for exercise. As I unwrapped him from his millions of rugs he has on to stop him getting a winter coat (which isn’t working as he is fluffy again), I realised that the horse has got wobbly bits like me too. So he is also on prep and had his calories cut today. He will realise in a few days and try and catapult me off when I ride him to try and pay me back for depriving him of much needed food – he doesn’t need it he is the size of a house.

After exercising the horse and before going to the gym, I had a catch up with my pal Steph (England’s 4th Strongest Woman) as I haven’t seen her in a while. Although I was surrounded by cakes, my black coffee provided all the nourishment I needed and no dribbling occurred.

So all in all a good second day on prep, bloody millions more days left but I will get used to it soon enough.

Now onto the fun part and I have an important announcement to make. So as noted in yesterday’s blog, Facebook ‘Friend’ message of the day/week is struggling so now I will provide you updates on my last holiday, but I will also be providing a weekly update on latest bikini ideas for the stage from Karen (the woman who wants me to steal penguin ornaments). So here it goes – please note that all ideas from Karen (the woman who wants me to steal penguin ornaments) are patented and cannot be used by anyone else.

Bikini Design of the Week by Karen;

A tribute to the great sportsmen of our time, portraits in sequins of Geoff Capes on the right boob cup, The Rock on the left boob cup and Arnie S on the lady garden section of the bikini bottoms. This outfit will be accompanied by a papier-mâché head of Geoff Capes which will be thrown into the audience.

Holiday Highlight;

So when I arrived at Lanzarote it was around 10am, and after Dave (who needs new flip flops) had located the car in the car park (it took him around 20 minute to find it) we were headed back to the apartment. Now flying is hard work and does make you hungry so we thought we would have some lunch and then do some sunbathing by the pool. On the menu was chicken kebabs which a fresh salad. Now the initial viewing of these chickens kebabs should have set off some kind of alarm and stopped me from eating them as they were green. But in fairness it looked like maybe they had some kind of spinach and pesto coating. We proceeded with caution and with hindsight should have stopped after the first bite, as neither I nor Sophie (who is a Pole Dancer) could tell whether this was chicken or fish. But we proceeded and ate our first kebab and laughed at how we couldn’t tell whether it was chicken or fish, and so we called it chicken-fish. What we should have called it was dodgy because for all the laughing we did whilst eating it and whilst sunbathing at the pool, that evening the laughing stopped and was replaced by tears and possible fear as we both became rather familiar with the bathroom, in particular the bog.

And guess what, to finish off we have Facebook ‘Friend’ VOICE Message of the day;

Facebook ‘Friend’ Voice message; Niki I need you in Dubai, I miss you, I miss you

Me (didn’t reply); I don’t know you, I have never bloody met you