So after my ordeal of being kidnapped by crumpets and Nutella, I woke up earlier than normal and plugged in the earphones and started to listening to Evanescence. Powered by girl rage and loud music I was off to the gym and completed an hours fasted cardio involving 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the stairway to heaven. I think my choice of music may have been a bit too aggressive as I nearly shouted at a girl in the abs class as she couldn’t understand the concept of opposite arm to opposite leg, it was explained 3 times but she just was not getting it. So I looked away, counted to 10 and carried on drinking my coffee.

It was one of those days at work in which you are busy and don’t seem to stop but when you do you are not exactly sure what you have achieved. I spent most of the morning listening to my music to avoid hearing people going into a cupboard by me to get goodies that Gary (my lunchtime walking partner) has brought in as he leaves our company this week. I did keep note of repeat offenders and they will be reminded when they start spouting off in a couple of days that they are on a diet.

Lunchtimes walk involved Phil (who is 1 foot taller than me) and I walking into town as I need to buy some pro-biotics and go to the bank and Phil needed to go to the Post Office which has a Subway next door to it. This fact then amused Phil as he wanted to see if 5 foot long subways would actually be the same height as me. I told him where he could put those Subways and then proceeded to think about Subway sandwiches whilst discussing the benefits of being a gypsy as some have settled in a nearby park as its Appleby soon.

I had a mission to complete all my activities after work as Lisa (who is a power lifter and is competing on 11th June with her sister) and I wanted to watch the new King Arthur film at the cinema. So the horse was speed mucked out and thrown out into the field with his buddy (who happens to be Lisa’s Horse) and I drove like the speed of light to the gym (obviously within the speed limits and not breaking the law) to complete my shoulder and tricep workout. I love working shoulders and tonight was a bobby dazzler as I had the most amazing shoulder pump going on all throughout my session. In fact at one point I must have had a serious look of henchness going on as one man nearly fell off the leg press and couldn’t continue until I had finished that particular exercise and moved out of his eye line and to another part of the gym. I just about had enough time to get in 30 minutes on the treadmill and then went to buy my treats for the cinema – sparkling water, coffee and green beans.

Got to the gym all lovely and sweaty in my gym clothes, swore at my phone for 5 minutes trying to find the buy one get one free code for tickets whilst Lisa bought the biggest box of popcorn (she did not finish it all but I would have been impressed if she did) and coke and then we were seated and everyone could hear me chomping away on raw green beans. The experience of going to the cinema and being surrounded by chocolate and popcorn left right and centre was made easier by the treats I bought as it takes a bloody long time to eat those green beans.

So I am back focused and no longer living in fear of being kidnapped by crumpets.

Finally to finish off the blog we have today’s Facebook ‘Friend’ message;

‘Friend’: would you like to see a picture of my willy?

Me: No thanks

‘Friend’: sends the most unflattering picture of it flopped to one side, not even draped in an artistic way

He was blocked.

Another ‘Friend’: how tight is your cat? (Obviously not cat but it starts with a P and describes a lady area)

Blocked.

Last ‘Friend’: Do you wear high heels?

Me: to work as I need to look professional

‘Friend’: I would like to lick them. Is that ok?

‘Friend’: Are you still there?

‘Friend’: Hello??

Blocked.